Love + Marriage

Taking the Loss

Ive had a major marker of maturity for myself in the last few years.

I often refer to it amongst friends as “taking the L”.

Translation: taking the loss. Not doing things my way. Choosing to let things go without an argument.

You see, I use to have this thing where I really wanted to get my way or do things my way.  Something about that felt like “winning”. Unfortunately, when you have an opinion on every little thing, you spend a good amount of time in a battle.  Making your points. Role playing out scenarios… it’s stressful!

Overtime it became abundantly clear that the REAL winning came in letting it go. Letting a whole lot of things that don’t matter, GO.  Turns out my list of things I ACTUALLY care about is pretty short. If he wants to buy one kind of car and I think it’s absurd… I consider, does this affect me?  Not really. He has in his mind a certain way something needs to be done that I don’t agree with- I ask myself, does this affect me or our kids? Usually not. Carry on…

You see I started to realize that so many issues won’t matter a year from now. A month from now. A week from now. But those little “micro conflicts”, they will. They seem to build over time and create their own underlying tension that doesn’t have to be there. Small stresses to our marriage. In turn, I’m happier.  I’m less stressed because I’m less responsible for the outcome of many things.  I’d like to think my husband is happier too. ☺️ in fact I’m certain he is.

You really can change the climate anywhere you are. It pretty much always starts with you.

Heres to letting a whole lot of nothing GO and loving each other WELL.